Not many people would know or realise this about me, as everyone always says I’m so chatty and confident but I’ve suffered from anxiety for years.
I’ve always been “a worrier” and most of the time I’ve found ways to manage it or hold it back for a few months.
Unfortunately in this past year it has come back with a vengeance.
I don’t know why and I’ve spent hours and hours trying to work out why.
I developed a horrendous fear of being left on my own at nighttime with my baby daughter.
My husband works shifts and is often not home at night.
It has been totally crippling and at times I’ve been terrified of my own mind.
I’ve spent whole nights wide awake having almost constant panic attacks, shaking and crying.
I felt sick to my stomach, I felt so terrified and anxious that I couldn’t even lie down in bed and close my eyes.
I’ve put myself and my family to hell and back.
My husband and my parents have been so worried about me, and despite their unconditional support I just couldn’t seem to pull myself out of it.
I felt like I was letting everyone down.
I went to see my doctor who prescribed me some tablets to take when I needed something to help me calm down.
I felt totally disheartened that it had come to this.
I don’t judge anyone who takes medication to help their mental health issues but I personally did not want to take this route when I knew all my anxiety was created by my own mind.
One day I was desperately searching amazon and buying any anxiety book I thought might help when I came across Barry’s DARE book.
I’ve spent years trying to relax, and breathe, and imagine myself lying on a beach, thinking of puppies, listening to relaxation music, absolutely anything to try and forget my anxiety and stay calm so this DARE approach was a totally new concept for me and actually at first it didn’t click.
I laughed when I read about the idea of running towards my anxiety but at the same time the technique intrigued me and I was inspired by the fact that Barry himself had suffered from anxiety.
Turns out that the step I thought was the silliest turned out to be the one that worked for me.
I stuck with it; reading, practicing (especially when I wasn’t feeling anxious) and suddenly something clicked.
I’m no longer scared of anxiety, I don’t fear it, I’m not running away, in fact I’m running towards it and embracing it.
It sounds crazy but it really works!
I feel free from the pressure of trying to imagine that I’m not experiencing anxiety.
If it’s there, it’s there and I’M NOT SCARED!
I say bring it on!!
I wouldn’t say I’m anxiety free and I wouldn’t say I’m completely recovered but I’ve taken a MASSIVE step in the right direction.
It doesn’t come easy and it takes hard work but suffering from anxiety is hard work anyway!
You just have to decide which hard to choose!
I have now realised that most of my anxiety came simply from fearing a panic attack.
Fearing those horrible physical feelings.
Barry’s Ride the Wave audio has really helped me to get my head around this and I love challenging my anxiety to do its worst in 21 seconds.
It never accepts the challenge! 🙂
I can confidently say that anxiety won’t be ruling my life anymore.
I have recently been back to see my doctor and I took the DARE book with me to show him.
He was genuinely interested and made a note of the title.
He said he will definitely be ‘prescribing’ it to his other patients.
I hope that he does because everyone should be free of this!
I will keep practicing and doing my steps so that I can have a complete recovery soon.
Hope you will too!
Here is a picture of my beautiful daughter enjoying life because I can now Dare my way to wonderful places.